Retrospective Wisdom

Is it just a fact of life that we don't appreciate things until they're in the past? I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Saipan, CNMI trying to set up an online storefront for the YouTube channel, and I can't help but think back to my time in Hanoi in 2020. I remember being supremely stressed and worried about the obvious problems of the world back then. I remember wondering if I'd ever be able to get back into China. And if life would ever return to normal. What I don't remember is relaxing and truly enjoying the amazing experience of living in Hanoi. I even remember being envious of a friend who had similarly ended up in HCMC (though he went before the pandemic, so he had established a life there) because it seemed to be the cooler city with more to do and, frankly, more mystique and somehow also more cosmopolitan.

Now I think back to my time in Hanoi and I think of it as one of the most amazing times of my life. To be able to live anywhere in Vietnam was an amazing gift from the universe. To be in Hanoi especially is quite possibly the best place to learn about and experience Vietnamese culture, food, and people. Whatever other problems there were in my personal life (that being employment) and the world at large, I know I missed a lot of what I should have been able to enjoy because I couldn't put aside these other issues and just enjoy the moment.

To be sure, I'm not saying that I think this problem is unique to me or to this situation but, of all the problems that face me and the team of people that I'm trying to put together to do this thing, getting to the end of a thirty-year project, even if successful, and realizing that I forgot to enjoy it because there were budgetary issues and global catastrophes along the way seems like one of the more likely. And, on a personal level, one of the more tragic.