Alright, faithful readers, strap in for the second installment of my "Great Escape to China." As you know, I was bracing myself for a full-on, multi-round brawl with the U.S. State Department. The website had set the stage for an epic battle of wills, warning me that without the correct, computer-generated, non-existent form and a U.S. credit card I haven't owned in a decade, I would be publicly shamed and banished from the Embassy grounds.